tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-235997112024-03-07T01:26:32.813-08:00The World InsideA place where i put my thoughts for *** MY OWN REFERENCE ***Siddharth Sharmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13873714722447430597noreply@blogger.comBlogger67125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23599711.post-13143656463638395212012-07-09T14:27:00.001-07:002012-07-09T14:27:38.488-07:00Patience, Comprehension and Will<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
In my reflections of what made me tick and overcome the clutches of attention deficit and mild - moderate depression, i saw the following things.<br />
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a) as of today, contemplation on 'Observation without center' works a lot better than 'Observe non judgementally'. Observe non judgementally seems to have more of a numbing effect.<br />
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this may be due the fact that 'Observe non judgementally' keeps the attention locked into internal mental states / feeling etc, whereas 'Observe without a center' is closer to the idea of 'Nirvikalpa / <br />
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b) historically, i never set out to improve my will power in the period circa 2005. i only had a will to improve comprehension and had a state of 'Observation without a center'.<br />
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c) interestingly, this led to a improvement in globalized will power.<br />
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the hypothesis is that practice of comprehension and 'Observation without a center' is the route to improved Will Power.<br />
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probably has something to do with Comprehension / Observation being the bottlenecks to the process of Willing neurobiologically for me as a person.<br />
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May not be something that works for everyone.</div>Siddharth Sharmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13873714722447430597noreply@blogger.com27tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23599711.post-33781950027965176002008-12-22T22:32:00.000-08:002008-12-22T22:34:30.529-08:00BeautyIt took me 22 years(well, not exactly) to realize that there are 2 ways of doing things.<br />The beautiful way of doing it and the useless way of doing it.<br />The beautiful way demands excrutiating effort typically, but its the only way to do things.Siddharth Sharmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13873714722447430597noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23599711.post-64951268065899824622008-09-08T16:13:00.002-07:002008-09-10T16:44:48.455-07:00The Response (How not to bang your head against the keyboard)How we respond to a situation can be the whole essence of what we make of life. and code !<br />I find that i am naturally wired to respond with emotion, or atleast a lot of emotional content to go along with logical experimentation and deduction when faced with any challenging situation.<br />However, this is a sure recipe of disaster while dealing with automatons like computers. Computers can do things to drive us nuts sometimes (since i code and debug for a living), but it is really not the computers fault (the blame game so deeply ingrained in us). Feelings of disbelief, helplessness, frustration, overwhelm are common human responses to bizarre software bahaviour.<br />The good thing is, that it appears to me to be possible to train oneself to zap out the emotional content and have great fun experiementing with stuff and building causal models. In my limited experience, i find that it is more often than not a matter of time before the issue resolves with logical enquiry.<br />Skills of inspection by contrasting to known basics, pigeon holing, exclusion, understanding complex automata flows are all useful in understanding the causes of issues.<br /><br />And saving oneself from tearing the hair out :)Siddharth Sharmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13873714722447430597noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23599711.post-22169859919298331202008-09-08T16:13:00.001-07:002008-09-10T16:44:46.845-07:00The Response (How not to bang your head against the keyboard)How we respond to a situation can be the whole essence of what we make of life. and code !<br />I find that i am naturally wired to respond with emotion, or atleast a lot of emotional content to go along with logical experimentation and deduction when faced with any challenging situation.<br />However, this is a sure recipe of disaster while dealing with automatons like computers. Computers can do things to drive us nuts sometimes (since i code and debug for a living), but it is really not the computers fault (the blame game so deeply ingrained in us). Feelings of disbelief, helplessness, frustration, overwhelm are common human responses to bizarre software bahaviour.<br />The good thing is, that it appears to me to be possible to train oneself to zap out the emotional content and have great fun experiementing with stuff and building causal models. In my limited experience, i find that it is more often than not a matter of time before the issue resolves with logical enquiry.<br />Skills of inspection by contrasting to known basics, pigeon holing, exclusion, understanding complex automata flows are all useful in understanding the causes of issues.<br /><br />And saving oneself from tearing the hair out :)Siddharth Sharmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13873714722447430597noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23599711.post-80773235896893813782008-09-08T16:13:00.000-07:002008-09-08T16:45:21.566-07:00Inspired, Motivated and Flowing ! Some stuff on software tooThe last couple of weeks have been just amazing (coginitive bias maybe :) )<br /><br />I am really not sure of when i last experienced this quality of flow. Not for a few years atleast.<br /><br />The inflection point came from reading an interview of Terry Tao, in which he compares math to advanced piano playing, stressing upon the importance of sheer technical practice. I always thought there was something more to intellectual insight than mere overlearning of basics, and maybe there is, but overlearning of basics appears to be a necessary thing for hitting the topmost(or any non trivial) points of performance. This is one fact i am eager looking forward to applying in my own field (software for now, possibly finance at some point in time). At the very least , overlearning of basics assures of flow while trying to solve incrementally harder problems. It makes the work fun and engaging at the very least even if it may not be top notch.<br /><br /><br /><br />As goes for the hammer and nail thing, everything in life looks like skill to me now. Every area of life looks like an art and a science. Interacting with people looks like an art to be mastered, so does conversation, so does fitness and so does bargaining and negotiation (these are my not so great points). So does pool.<br /><br /><br /><br />This may be overgeneralizing and all these areas may require differing degrees of experiential learning and practicing rule based techniques. Some may actually involve quite a bit of luck too.<br /><br /><br /><br />However, it can surely not harm to overlearn (and overpractice) the basics of any field. The next steps to peak performance can be contemplated after i overpractice this principle of flow.<br /><br /><br /><br />For the time being, i notice that my work in software needs systematic and detailed thinking as a base skill. Something which is not my natural strength , but something i think is worth stretching to the limit. It requires clear and patient thought involving systems, mechanisms , causality (yes, minus the philosophical debate on it and the fuzziness causality assumes in other areas like finance). In software, its usually sufficient to trace causes to a certain mechanism, or a certain detail and there is generally no ambiguity. Designing is about building of software components with certain guidelines in mind (which can be overlearnt and overapplied). Debugging is a lot more about patient enquiry into causal mechanisms, and requires building incremental models of the underlying systems and its neighbouring and dependent systems (It is therefore a harder skill to acquire and people with natural impatience (like me ) can have a hard time with it)<br /><br /><br /><br />I feel more clearheaded right now than in a very very long time. Hopefully, the overlearning continues :)Siddharth Sharmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13873714722447430597noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23599711.post-70027509155811640322008-08-04T03:02:00.000-07:002008-08-04T03:16:32.606-07:00Affect NeurobiologyRead a few articles on affect neurobiology.<br /><br />Very interesting observations these articles and research papers had .<br />1. Positive affect (desire for things ( ??? not sure which ones)) is indicated by left prefrontal cortex activity.<br />2. Negative affect (aversion to things ) is indicated by right prefrontal cortex activity. High right prefrontal cortex activity is observed in patients suffering from depression.<br /><br />I'll map it to my favourite concepts of sattva, rajas and tamas. A tamasic brain can easily be indicated by right prefrontal cortex activity. What would a sattvic brain look like than. I guess it should be left prefrontal dominated, but the control should rather stay with the centres of reason (meditative knowledge building and discrimination) than huge amounts of positive affect. The rajasic brain is obviously a huge amount of positive affect, be it sensual, social or pragmatic in nature.<br /><br />Very interesting ideas, which make ones likes and dislikes look like jokes. This article is being written in a mix of positive affect and reason. Sattva !Siddharth Sharmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13873714722447430597noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23599711.post-38294810702591854772008-06-30T00:24:00.001-07:002008-06-30T00:26:58.206-07:00Kurzweil's TalksRay Kurzweil points out that software is one of the few areas intechnology which does not improve at an exponential pace. He is probably right and Microsoft should take direct responsibility for such a state of affairs.<br /><br />Anyway, the idea spurs me on to contribute something to software and maybe in the future think about the theory and practices going around here.<br /><br />Checking out the way Microsoft does software is a nice start.Siddharth Sharmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13873714722447430597noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23599711.post-54642801022414380112008-06-28T01:16:00.000-07:002008-06-28T01:23:33.149-07:00ExecutionNow that i have been handed my project, its time to go out and practice execution.<br />I don't really care about the quality of the SCCM - MoAPI - RFID idea. May be it works well with the customers, maybe it doesn't<br /><br />I go in with a clear focus to execute the idea well. Do proper and high quality investigations with very clear steps<br />1) Work with, and take stock of SCCM feature, concepts<br />2) Work with the API for Mobile Configuration<br />3) Do a 1 pager for how to take it forwardSiddharth Sharmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13873714722447430597noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23599711.post-15877228233384136902008-04-17T07:33:00.000-07:002008-04-17T07:56:07.772-07:00Local Cognition and VolitionHuman society has a cognitive bias towards the local, spatially and temporally. Everyone wants to know whats happening right now, whats happening around them, what people in their social proximity are thinking about them, what someone near them is going through etc.<br /><br />The overriding focus on the local has led to a flourishing media industry, which serves to expand our "locality" and thrives on the "local" information consumption patterns of people like you and me.<br /><br />As a matter of education, at no point are humans taught to distinguish between temporary blips and long term trends. It is a tremendously beneficial exercise for the human psyche to carry out this discrimination, as it leads to greater balance and effectiveness in practice. Sadly, like other finer points about thought, this exercise is never promoted in formal education.<br /><br />Among a large percentage of people, there is downright disregard for abstract and non local thought and a culture of worship for "local work", work that addresses local and contingent problems, that keeps systems running and keeps the salaries pouring in too. I think that the "local" variety of work and thought has certain importance, but i think it is overrated and there are too many people practicing that kind of work.<br /><br />Only non local thought can lead man to peace, to an objective treatment of things that happen to him and things that he does. It permits him to examine himself and his environment and form action plans that have lasting value.<br /><br />I really wish that humans were taught to discriminate between local and non local thought and action and thereby live more intelligently and effectively.Siddharth Sharmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13873714722447430597noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23599711.post-21370388102651694922008-03-14T12:35:00.000-07:002008-03-14T12:54:46.084-07:00fursatI used to hear dad sing "dil dhoondta hai, phir wahi, fursat ke raat din" and i used to wonder what the sentiment was. It was, of course when i was unbounded by time and purpose myself.<br />Checking up the complete lyrics of the song though, i realize that it doesn't really fit the way i feel but atleast this line does.<br /><br />Today, even as the practical constraints haven't increased so as to push me into more hectic activity, i find myself to be more impatient, scheming and panging for results. I am a changed man now, treating time and purpose as given reals, with much greater attachment to desires and ambitions.<br /><br />I cannot deny that the heart does yearn for a taste of that sublime surrender though. There is an ecstasy in surrender. In a surrender not brought about by hardship but a quality of deep, unconditional fulfilling satiation.<br /><br />Then there is the desire for spontaneous action. I have changed so greatly that i can't do a single thing without a purpose guiding it now. This is in such stark contrast to a time where i did things just for joy and only till they were fun. Any which way, almost nothing is fun now and i have no idea what to do about this. The music of life has dried, and what is left is an arid mind with its machinations for survival and success.<br /><br />I guess i need to find a middle way. To be spontaneous and planned, to be ambitious and to relax.Siddharth Sharmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13873714722447430597noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23599711.post-84977259582071625732008-03-13T11:51:00.000-07:002008-03-13T12:15:12.540-07:00DeconditionedOne idea that has really been driving me a lot is the idea of deconditioning.<br />In a rough sense, i think a deconditioned human being is one who has gained total freedom to will or not will, act or not act, despise or not despise, pour effort and to relax, to choose any of x,y,z reactions to a stimulus, to be uninhibited or to be restrained, to love or not to love, to socialize or not to socialize, .......<br /><br />Most of the symptoms of deconditioning are achievable by sharpening the will by practice. By forcibly taking choices which one is "naturally" averse to , and by not taking choices one finds natural, the will can be sharpened. One example of this has been my challenging of my aversion to outdoor activity. Even though i don't prefer outdoor activity, i don't think its a very smart or productive choice in all situations. To selectively enjoy certain outdoor activity like sports / travel might add to the richness of experience in life. It certainly has a lot of health benefits.<br />Plus there is the satisfaction of bucking the trend itself, the deconditioning.<br /><br />There is a great deal of mental comfort that i've enjoyed due to lack of emotion. I have , however come to face that unless all of my emotional energy is faced and directed properly, i can't get close to my optimal life. This would also constitute deconditioning in the sense of taking on newer and stronger emotions and guiding through them properly.<br /><br />Then theres the strongest conditioning of identity. The self image of a lazy- consume much produce little - hypocrite hasn't helped me much. I am in the active process of destroying these thought processes and replacing them by newer and more effective attitudes. The pareto pricipled effort of putting in 20% effort for 80% result isn't something i want to give up, but i want the extra 20% of results too, and being lazy won't get me those results.<br /><br />I find this process highly empowering. Of breaking trends and ideas, rebuilding them at will and the prospect of walking through life as a master of oneself. I hope to be able to continue this process in a steady and intense manner.Siddharth Sharmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13873714722447430597noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23599711.post-77798678754602716942007-08-11T12:32:00.000-07:002007-08-11T12:51:29.596-07:00Decoupling Feeling, Willing and ThinkingA lot of times i've seen people (inluding myself) struggle to make the right decisions and choices.<br /><br />The confusion i believe stems from a parallelization of the 3 key mind processes - feeling, thinking and willing.<br /><br />Whenever we are presented with choices , be it in the professional and personal sphere, our mind begins to race. This can be called the projection of the mind. I feel that most people have an automatic projection process, they don't ever try to monitor or control this racing motion of their minds.<br /><br />When the mind projects in the face of available options, a peculiar mix of emotions, rational thought and more projections into the future happens inside our head. the mix can vary from person to person, but its a mess nevertheless.<br /><br />These choices arise a few times a day in most professions. And i can say that it is due to this mismanagement of the mind motion that stress arises. The mixed projection of the mind is recipe for the emotion of stress.<br /><br />A very simple antidote to stress is to systematize the projection of the mind. It is especially important to not let willing appear before thinking has completed.<br /><br />At one step, we should only rationally think about our alternatives in an objective manner for as long is necessary. In case of personal decisions, the feeling motion should also be factored in at the same stage. It is very important that no will of any kind is formed by this time.<br /><br />After sufficient thinking has happened, then it is time to commit, i.e. will that choice into implementation. This should be a strong and conscious will, very clearly known to oneself.<br /><br />So sequential and non overlapping thinking and willing are very important to mind management. The role of feeling isn't very clear to me and i feel that thinking and willing are functionally sufficient in most cases.<br /><br />Another attribute of successful mind management is to make thinking iterative and factor in as many things as possible in an iterative fashion. This specifically means to revise the content of thought as much as possible on objective criteria as demanded by the situation at hand.<br /><br />Taking care of the mind projection process and keeping it neat and tidy really helps one destress and ensures productive outcomes of the effort put in.Siddharth Sharmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13873714722447430597noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23599711.post-23287144815954046702007-04-06T02:12:00.000-07:002007-04-06T02:16:44.404-07:00Internalization of the MindA very effective technique for combating mental confusion, irritability and negative emotions like fear and anxiety is internalizing the mind.<br /><br />In practice, internalizing the mind means a commitment to simply not care about the external world and focus all attention on ones own mind and its content instead. It is important to just cut any thought processes regarding the external world.<br /><br />Once the mind calms and begins to rest inwards it becomes easier to hold the external factors in perspective to their importance.<br /><br />It would also become easier to systematically work out solutions to problems and challenges posed by life.Siddharth Sharmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13873714722447430597noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23599711.post-44844226294599631062007-03-09T14:05:00.000-08:002007-03-09T14:20:07.563-08:00Chroncling PeaceThe events of the last few months have served to disconnect me from something that had mattered to me a lot in the years preceding them.<br /><br />That facet of my life is peace. In all the thinking about my career and other aspects of personal life, peace had been relegated to a much lower priority.<br /><br />However, i rediscovered today something that i had been craving for. And that was a glimpse of the uncorrupted state of mind which i dearly cherish.<br /><br />It is the summum bonum to my understanding.<br /><br />Rather than debate the merits, i'll chronicle the experience.<br /><br />There is a total suspension of egoist time, an 'I' with a past, present and future.<br /><br />It is a state of altered perception of time and suspended common sense. Death is not a revolting idea, nor failure, nor disease.<br /><br />The most beautiful thing is the objectification of the mind, the ability to perceive every motion of thought as if under a microscope.<br /><br />All identities crack.<br /><br />I am convinced that there is no attachment to the state either, with no desire to reproduce or recreate the state as happens in pleasure conditioning.<br /><br />As i write this, i am but convinced to create a future in which such contemplation continues to play an instrumental role.Siddharth Sharmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13873714722447430597noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23599711.post-46943748246964729972007-03-09T12:00:00.000-08:002007-03-09T12:07:12.308-08:00PossibilityThis is an interesting idea.<br /><br />I think life is primarily about possibilities and that the full life entails embracing all possibility.<br /><br />The possibility of failure and success, of bugs in software, of peace, of challenges, of creative insights, of the beauty of love and a whole lot more.<br /><br />To live a complete life involves accepting all outcomes in life. Which is not to be a fatalist. It means that one must not resist any possibilities, since they exist and some of them will manifest.<br /><br />It is entirely reasonable to like certain possibilities more than others. However, genuine intelligence about how these are manifested cannot arise till we learn to accept all possibilities.<br /><br />And that is the key to my mind. Intelligence.<br /><br />A fluid and alert mind, open to possibility is what is necessary to make the most of life. That is what intelligence is.Siddharth Sharmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13873714722447430597noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23599711.post-76255385221054725852007-02-19T10:23:00.000-08:002007-02-19T10:45:28.716-08:00The BasicsTo succeed, one must get the basics right.<br /><br />Let us take living as the art and the science then. To succeed, the basics have to be right.<br /><br />As per hindu tradition , there are two ways in which a human being can live.<br />One is the life of the man of the world, the householder. The other , of the spiritually dedicated reculse.<br /><br />Let me enumerate the high priority virtues successful living in the world entails :<br />In no particular order<br />1) Proactivity and Action Orientation<br />2) Industry and Creativity in Action and Thought<br />3) Self Confidence of a Positive Variety<br />4) Vigour<br />5) Moral Fortitude in the face of temptation to ethical incorrectness<br /><br /><br />Let me contrast these with what are higher priorities for a reclusive life<br /><br />1) Critical Thinking and very strong mental fortitude in face of any tempations.<br />2) 'Vairagya' or Mental Renuncation of Mind and Materials<br />3) Sense Restraint<br />4) Confidence of a negative variety as far as things of the world go. That is to say, surety of what doesn't work.<br />5) Positive confidence in the ideals of Absolute Freedom / God / Spirit, something genuinely free as the case may be<br /><br />Clearly i haven't got my priorities sorted out right now.<br />Most of my effort and habit is clearly towards the reclusive life.<br />However, i am directly involved in the worldly life.<br /><br />What is the solution to this problem.<br /><br />Clearly, i must master one of the two sets of virtues first and decide my priorities.<br /><br />This is a very tough question is all i can say right now.Siddharth Sharmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13873714722447430597noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23599711.post-27250982915929873942006-12-31T00:11:00.000-08:002006-12-31T00:23:26.153-08:00Conscious Identification and the Spiritual LifeThis is one concept i use a lot in my cogitations and i'll explain it today<br /><br />The condition of conscious identifiaction is when we identify with an idea , a sensation, a desire sufficiently to make it self evident.<br /><br />In its more gross form, this exhibits as craving, as in the craving of a child for a chocolate. He wants it and theres nothing on earth that can prove this false to him. I know from subjective experience how craving feels.<br /><br />In adults it has many manisfestation. An adult's honour is a pretty self evident thing for him, he needs no proof for it.<br /><br />So there are many ways in which we identify. For the majority of us, our desires, our fears, our social identity are all selfevident. Therefore, there are things we dearly want and things we'd want to avoid at any cost.<br /><br />These identifications may change too. Someone desires a particular outcome at one point and may desire the opposite at another.<br /><br />The spiritual life aims at giving us charge of these identifications. The classical buddhist and advaitist traditions aim at breaking all identities that we preserve and wish to preserve.<br /><br />It is an open question for me to determine the desirability of identification and to see if some identities are more desirable than others.Siddharth Sharmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13873714722447430597noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23599711.post-83095854559356391712006-12-06T09:26:00.000-08:002006-12-06T09:30:35.650-08:00what this iswhat i feel is strange,<br />i feel ignorant and in the dark.<br /><br />bound to the gross i am,<br />cannot think beyond this body.<br /><br />bound by chains,<br />which run me over.<br /><br />i don't see freedom,<br />the end of all this circus.<br /><br />i try to be good and correct,<br />succeed a bit at that do i.<br /><br />i try to see what can be seen,<br />understand what can be understood.<br /><br />yet i see no rest,<br />yet i see no truth.<br /><br />i surrender to this state,<br />i do not know what this is.Siddharth Sharmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13873714722447430597noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23599711.post-22502854312200267112006-12-05T04:44:00.000-08:002006-12-05T04:54:06.723-08:00The Way AheadMy conversations and thought process has been greared totally towards the way ahead and there are a lot of ideas i have generated<br /><br />I have realized that there is a need to just keep pushing the bar higher for myself,<br /><br />in terms of<br /><br />1. The efforts i can make in a professional capacity<br />2. My understanding of the world and my ability to cope with daily life.<br />3. The kind of care and understanding i can give to the people around me.<br />4. Spiritual understanding and the quality and quantity of abstract contemplation i do.<br />5. The quality of peace i experience ( i think i can largely determine it), which is largely a function of mindfulness.<br /><br />I have realized that the abstract and the concrete need to be attended to equally.<br /> I shall explore these different themes in my following posts.Siddharth Sharmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13873714722447430597noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23599711.post-1162996072326898902006-11-08T06:20:00.000-08:002006-11-08T23:45:30.065-08:00Is this the way i am constructedIn a lighter vien and a serious one as well,<br /><br />i am thinking that theres is one thing i can do really well.<br />and that is to not do what can be done without!!<br />i can safely ignore negative thoughts, i can not identify with things, i can resist negative emotions, i can avoid saying falsities and harsh words. i know what false logic is. i know how not to approach work and life. i know what doesn't work.<br /><br />Then i wonder, maybe this is the way i am constructed.<br /><br />But i also want to be able to say the right things, come up with and implements ideas that work, experience and experience positive emotions, say affirmative truths and work with sound logic.<br />i find my positive side to be highly underdeveloped than my penchant for negativity(rather my ability to handle and live with it so well).<br /><br />That would make things a lot better i think.Siddharth Sharmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13873714722447430597noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23599711.post-1162235617853433772006-10-30T10:50:00.000-08:002006-11-08T23:45:29.918-08:00Greater FreedomI find this to be a very important question to my life<br /><br />Is getting what one wants a greater freedom or freedom from want a greater freedom.<br /><br />I believe that freedom from want is greater, but i find that society think quite otherwise.Siddharth Sharmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13873714722447430597noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23599711.post-1162037946767700452006-10-28T05:17:00.000-07:002006-11-08T23:45:29.758-08:00RepublishThis blog is failing to republish after i deleted a post. So i'll try and put this dummy just for te sake of republishing it.Siddharth Sharmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13873714722447430597noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23599711.post-1161792018943529992006-10-25T08:57:00.000-07:002006-11-08T23:45:29.328-08:00The WorstThis is the worst, absolute worst i've felt in the last 3 years. Its the absolute worst possible.<br />Total Entropy is what i am right now.<br /><br />A contradiction of desires, callousness and idiocy is what i am right now.<br /><br />I don't know the way out. I don't have the answers.<br /><br />Can anyone help. i have nothing left inside me, i am hollow.Siddharth Sharmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13873714722447430597noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23599711.post-1160768814265890782006-10-13T12:38:00.000-07:002006-11-08T23:45:29.158-08:00Is rejecting non sense enoughI was posed the question today as a part of the event Mr. and Miss Intellect - "Would you mind if your wife earned than you?"<br />The answer i gave was that such ideas are socially prevalent notions which were just pure non sense and i do not subscribe to them.<br /><br />What i missed in my opinion was the most important thing. And that was the role love would play in this. The love should be strong enough that such trivia never arises. and such love would require a whole lot more than just emotinal attachment. it clearly needs the melting of the self.<br /><br />the same holds for most ideas that are propagated in society. the complete answer is not critical intellection alone. critical intellection would lead to complete isolation from the way society functions and the values it defines. we have to go one step further. reject the non sense(e.g. the attitude that one should be more socially important than ones wife) and live the greatest positive feeling(love).Siddharth Sharmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13873714722447430597noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23599711.post-1159449811274126122006-09-28T06:23:00.000-07:002006-11-08T23:45:28.593-08:00Some stuff to feel good aboutWell,<br /><br />taking a tip from Vipul i decided to make notes of some good stuff that i manage to do during the course of the day.<br /><br />Today, the best things i could say i did were:<br /><br />1. Managed the material required from my side and managed all things i was required to do in my position as the software secy.<br />2. Managed to retain my focus and win all TT games against equally good oponents.<br /><br />nothing major but it helps to build confidenceSiddharth Sharmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13873714722447430597noreply@blogger.com0